The five-year-old is the big kid at förskola (municipal preschool, from age one): knows the rules, helps the little ones, draws people with all their body parts and starts taking an interest in letters and numbers. This is the last full year before förskoleklass (the preschool year that starts school, at six), and what matters now is less about practising school and more about your child being able to get dressed, wait their turn and say what they need.
Half past four on a Thursday in Hägersten. A five-year-old sits at the kitchen table writing her name, mirrored, on a card for Grandma. Little brother wants to draw on the same card and the five-year-old says: you can have your own paper, I will help you. Five minutes later there is a fight over the felt-tip anyway. A five-year-old can do a lot, and is still five.
What can a five-year-old do?
| Area | Typical at five |
|---|---|
| Gross motor skills | Rides a bike, skips a few jumps with a rope, stands on one leg for several seconds, climbs high, many can swim a few metres |
| Fine motor skills | Draws a person with a body, arms, legs, a face and often clothes. Cuts out shapes, writes a few letters, sometimes ties shoelaces |
| Language | Talks like a small adult, tells long stories, understands jokes and wordplay, rhymes, asks what difficult words mean |
| Social | Has close friends, can compromise, comforts others, understands other people's feelings, can wait their turn and lose a game without disaster, mostly |
| Thinking | Counts to twenty or more, recognises several letters, understands simple times of day, knows the days of the week, can plan a game in several steps |
| Independence | Gets dressed completely, manages the toilet, lays the table and empties the dishwasher, can take responsibility for small tasks |
Förskoleklass next autumn: what is needed, and what is not
Many parents start worrying at five. Does my child know enough? The answer is almost always yes, because what school needs is not knowledge but everyday skills. A six-year-old who can get dressed, go to the toilet, speak up when something is wrong and wait while the teacher helps someone else will do well in förskoleklass. A six-year-old who can read but cannot do up their jacket will have a harder autumn.
| Helps in förskoleklass | Not needed |
|---|---|
| Getting dressed and undressed on their own, including zips and mittens | Being able to read |
| Going to the toilet and wiping themselves | Being able to write more than their name |
| Sitting still for a short while and listening to an adult in a group | Counting to a hundred |
| Speaking up when something is wrong, asking for help | Telling the time |
| Waiting their turn, sharing, losing | Knowing English |
| Recognising their name and its first letter | Having been to classes |
| Liking books and wanting to be read to | Having their own phone |
We have a separate guide to Förskoleklass and what happens there, and one on Starting school in Stockholm.
Letters and numbers without pressure
Interest in letters usually comes on its own during the fifth year, and it comes differently for different children. One child wants to write every name in the family, another ignores letters completely and builds Lego instead. Both are ready for school. What makes the difference is not training but letters being around your child: that you read, that your child sees you write shopping lists, that the signs on the bus become a game.
- Read every day, ideally at the same time. Chapter books work now, a bit each evening
- Write together: the note to the nanny, the card to Grandma, the list for the shop. Your child writes what they can, you do the rest
- Count for real: the number of plates, steps, how many minutes left. That is maths, not worksheets
- Rhymes and chants build the language awareness that reading rests on. It sounds silly and it is the most important thing on the list
- Leave pens out, and do not make a thing of mirrored letters. They sort themselves out
Friends, being left out and being picked last
A five-year-old's friendships are serious. Your child has a best friend, and if that friend plays with someone else it is a crisis that lasts all afternoon. Groups form at förskola, and some children end up outside them in a way you need to keep an eye on. Ask förskola who your child plays with, not just whether your child plays.
At home it helps to invite friends over one at a time, to let your child choose who, and to leave the play without adult direction as long as it is working. Five-year-olds can solve most conflicts themselves if they get a few minutes before someone steps in.
Feelings: shame arrives
Something new happens with feelings at five. Your child starts to feel embarrassed. They do not want to sing in front of people the way they did at three, they get self-conscious when they get something wrong, and they may lie to avoid feeling stupid. At the same time your child understands other people's feelings in a new way and can be thoughtful in a way that moves you to tears.
What helps is not making the shame bigger. Do not laugh at what goes wrong, even when it is cute. Say that everyone makes mistakes and that is how you learn. And take your child's sadness seriously, even when the cause seems small: being picked last in a game is not small to a five-year-old.
Sleep, screens and the afternoons
A five-year-old needs 10 to 13 hours of sleep a night, and most sleep best if they fall asleep between seven and eight. Children who fall asleep at nine cope at förskola, but they are running on empty by three o'clock and easy to set off at dinner. Folkhälsomyndigheten (the Public Health Agency of Sweden) recommends at most one hour of screen time a day at this age, and no screens in the last hour before bed. We have a guide to Screen time for children with rules that tend to hold.
Many five-year-olds have long days at förskola when both parents work full time. You can see it in your child by November. A nanny who picks up at three a couple of days a week often makes more difference to the mood than anything else you can change, because the last two hours at förskola are the heaviest.
The five-year check at BVC
The five-year check is usually the last visit to BVC (the child health clinic every family is enrolled in) before the school health service takes over. The nurse checks height, weight, sight and hearing and looks at motor skills and language. Bring your questions. This is the moment to raise pronunciation that is still unclear, worries about school, sleep that is not working or a child who seems to struggle to concentrate. No question is too small, and it is easier to get support now than to wait and see how it goes in year one.
How we do it with our families
Nike has a five-year-old in Täby three days a week and picks up from förskola at three. They walk home via the playground, and on the way they count cars of different colours, because the child has decided that red cars are worth three points. At home it is a snack and then a chapter book, the same book the parents read in the evening, so they keep track of where they are with a bookmark the child made herself. Twice a week they practise doing up the jacket and tying shoes, except it is not called practice but getting smart for dinner. The note says where they are in the book and what the child said about her day.
This text is general information and does not replace advice from BVC, your vårdcentral (local health centre) or 1177 (the national healthcare helpline). If you are worried about your child, call 1177. In an emergency, call 112.
Would you like a nanny who knows your child, knows what is normal for them and notices when something is different? Book a free first meeting with the nanny in your home.
Read more: The four-year-old · Förskoleklass · Starting school in Stockholm · Prices
Frequently asked questions
Does a five-year-old have to be able to read before förskoleklass?
No. Förskoleklass is there to begin with letters and numbers, not for your child to know them already. What helps is that your child likes books, recognises their name and can hold a pen. Reading that comes on its own is good. Reading that is drilled in under pressure is not.
How much should a five-year-old sleep?
Around 10 to 13 hours a night, with no daytime nap. A five-year-old who has to be up at seven needs to fall asleep by eight at the latest, and many do best falling asleep earlier than that. Children who do not fall asleep until nine and are woken at seven are often running on empty by three o'clock.
What happens at the five-year check at BVC?
It is usually the last visit to BVC. The nurse checks height, weight, sight and hearing, looks at motor skills and language and goes through how your child is doing at förskola and at home. It is the best moment to raise anything you are wondering about before school starts.
My five-year-old still wets the bed at night, is that normal?
Yes. Many five-year-olds wear a night nappy or wet the bed sometimes, and it is common well into school age. It is not something your child does on purpose and not something that can be trained away by being strict. If it continues past the age of six and your child finds it upsetting, ask BVC or your vårdcentral.