The Christmas presents children are still using in February are rarely the most expensive ones. For children under three it is books and things that survive being thrown. For three- to six-year-olds it is material for play, such as blocks, dressing-up clothes and paints. For seven- to nine-year-olds it is games, book series and things for a hobby. For ten- to twelve-year-olds it is something that gives independence or an experience. Three or four parcels per child is enough.
On the 26th of December roughly half the Christmas presents are in a pile in a corner, and by February a fifth of them are in use. It is not the children's fault and not yours, it is that Christmas presents are bought in November under time pressure and from wish lists written after a TV advert. We are in the families' homes in February and see what is actually out. This is it, sorted by age and by type of thing. No brands, no prices, because the brand is not what decides.
Overview: what gets used and what gets forgotten
| Age | In use in February | In the corner in February |
|---|---|---|
| 0 to 1 year | Board books, a soft animal that becomes the bedtime animal, things to chew on | Anything with sounds and lights, big plastic toys, clothes in the wrong size |
| 1 to 3 years | Blocks, Duplo, pull-along toys, books, simple puzzles, bucket and spade | Puzzles with many pieces, toys that demand fine motor skills, anything with small parts |
| 3 to 6 years | Dressing-up clothes, Lego, crayons and paper, toy animals, a bike or scooter, chapter books | Games with rules the child cannot manage, electronics, things with batteries that ran out in January |
| 7 to 9 years | Games, book series, things for a hobby, construction kits, ice skates or a ball, craft materials | Toys for younger children, collectables that were the craze in November |
| 10 to 12 years | Books they chose themselves, equipment for a sport, something they look after themselves, an experience | Toys of any kind, clothes in the wrong style, things they did not ask for |
0 to 1 year: give something the parents need
A baby cares about the paper and the ribbon. What gets used in February is what the parents use: cardboard books that survive being chewed, a soft animal that can become the one your child falls asleep with for three years, a blanket, a teething ring, clothes in the size that will fit in three months. Sounds and lights are for the adults who buy them. And three parcels is one too many. One is enough. Save the money for the year your child points.
1 to 3 years: things that survive being thrown
This is where play begins, and what works is things that can be used in a hundred ways and survive being hurled at the floor. Big blocks, a box of Duplo, a pull-along toy on a string, a bucket and spade for the sandpit in March, books with little text and big pictures, simple peg puzzles. A toy kitchen or a doll's house gets shared by siblings for years. What ends up in the corner is anything with small parts, anything that requires the child to sit still and anything that does something by itself on batteries. Your child wants to be the one doing. More book suggestions by age are in Swedish children's books by age.
3 to 6 years: material for play
The preschool years are the years when children play the most. What gets used in February is what feeds the play: dressing-up clothes, a box of mixed Lego, not a model with instructions, plastic animals, a doll with clothes that come off, crayons, felt tips, big sheets of paper, modelling clay. A bike or scooter in the right size, ready to ride in March. Chapter books to read aloud, one chapter a night. What ends up in the corner is games with rules the child cannot manage yet, tablets and anything that turns the child into a spectator. That will come, but not now. Folkhälsomyndigheten (the Public Health Agency of Sweden) recommends at most one hour of screen time a day for this age, and a Christmas present competing for that hour does not beat Lego in the long run.
7 to 9 years: games, series and a hobby
Now your child can read on their own, play games with rules and stick with something for weeks. What gets used is board games and card games for the whole family, a book series where the first book comes now and the next in April, things for a hobby your child already has: football, drawing, bead boards or fishing. Construction kits that take several days. Ice skates, a ball, a skipping rope. Their own weekly pass to the simhall (public swimming pool) if you have one nearby. What ends up in the corner is toys your child has outgrown, and the things everyone wanted in November that nobody remembers in February. There is usually one of those anyway, and that is fine. But not four.
10 to 12 years: independence and experiences
Ten- to twelve-year-olds want things that show they are not little. What gets used is what they chose themselves, and the best way is to give a book, a game or equipment they have pointed out, not something you guessed. Something they get to look after themselves: an alarm clock, their own bus timetable and an SL card (Stockholm's public transport), a tool, a camera. Experiences that are theirs: a concert, a day in town with one parent and no siblings, a weekend at a cousin's. Money works from this age if your child is saving towards something, see our guide on Pocket money. What ends up in the corner is toys, more or less all of them, and clothes in a style they did not ask for.
How many, and how to handle the relatives
We see families with twenty parcels per child and families with three. The children in the second group are no less happy on Christmas Eve, and they are often calmer in the evening. Children under five can manage to open three or four parcels and take them in. After that they open without looking. A rule that works: four parcels per child, one they wished for, one they need, one to read and one to make something with. Tell grandma, grandpa and auntie in November, with a concrete request, for example one book each. Most people are relieved not to have to guess. Those who turn up with five parcels anyway get to hand out two on Christmas Eve and three in January, and that is your decision, not theirs.
How we do it with our families
Sanna is with a family in Täby with a three-year-old and a seven-year-old, and in February she sees exactly which Christmas presents get used: the three-year-old has lived in the dressing-up clothes every afternoon since Christmas and the seven-year-old plays the same card game with her every Tuesday at five while dinner is cooking. She usually writes on the note what the children have actually been playing with, not for the sake of the presents but so the parents know. That note is the best guide to next year's Christmas presents there is.
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Read more: Advent calendar for kids · Swedish children's books by age · Screen time for children · Prices
Frequently asked questions
How many Christmas presents should a child get?
There is no right number, but children under five cannot take in more than three or four before they tire of the unwrapping. Many of the families we work with set a cap per child and tell the relatives, so that the number stays the same even when grandma has plenty of money.
What do you give a baby who does not understand Christmas?
Something the parents need, such as a board book or a soft animal that can become the bedtime animal, or nothing at all. A baby under one cares about the paper, not the contents. The big presents can wait until the year your child points at something in the shop.
What do you do about relatives who give too much?
Say it early, in November, with a concrete request: one parcel per child, or an experience you do together instead of things. Most people are relieved. Those who do not listen will hear it once more next year.
What should you avoid?
Toys with a hundred small parts for children under five, anything that needs batteries that are not included, and presents that are really for the parent. And things your child already has a near-identical version of. Ask what gets used every day at home, and give more of that.
Is it wrong to give children money or gift cards?
Not from about nine, when your child can save towards something. To a child under seven a gift card is a piece of paper. If you want to give something your child chooses themselves, go to the shop with them one day in January and make it an outing.