Evening fussiness is when a healthy baby cries and is hard to soothe in the evening, usually between five and eleven, from about two weeks of age until three or four months, with a peak around six weeks. It is common, it is harmless and it passes. What helps is movement, darkness, steady sounds, closeness and taking turns. What does not help is hunting for what is wrong.
It is seven o'clock, the baby has fed, the nappy is clean, and the crying just goes on. Every parent of a six-week-old recognises it, and almost all of them think they are doing something wrong. They are not. Here is what is happening, what usually eases it, and how you hold out through the weeks it lasts.
What is happening
A newborn's nervous system is immature. By evening the baby has taken in a whole day of sounds, light, faces and feelings, and lacks the ability to switch off. The result is crying that is not about hunger or a nappy, but about overload. It starts around two weeks, is at its worst around six, and eases for most babies at three to four months as the brain matures.
What usually helps
- Movement. A sling and a walk, ideally outdoors. Rock, sway, walk up and down stairs. Steady movement at the pace of a heartbeat.
- Darkness and quiet. Lights off, blinds down, voices low. Fewer impressions, not more.
- Steady sounds. Shh close to the ear, the extractor fan, a running shower, white noise at low volume.
- Swaddling. Wrap the baby firmly in a blanket with the arms close to the body, as in the womb.
- Closeness. Skin to skin, the baby on your chest, your heartbeat against their cheek.
- A warm bath. Often breaks the crying for a while, and gives you something to do.
- Swap adults. After twenty minutes: hand over. The baby senses your stress, and you need to breathe.
What does not help
- Hunting for what is wrong. Changing formula, changing your diet, trying drops. Sometimes it helps, mostly it is time.
- More impressions: toys, chatter, light, visitors.
- Feeding constantly. A hungry baby should feed, but an overstimulated baby who is breastfed every ten minutes often gets more air in the tummy and more crying.
- Being alone. Evening fussiness is a two-person job for the weeks it lasts.
An evening, step by step
| Time | What you do | Why |
|---|---|---|
| 16.30 | Eat your own dinner, now | In an hour it will not be possible |
| 17.00 | Dim the house: blinds down, sounds off, visitors home | Less to take in before the peak |
| 17.30 | A bath or a calm feed in a dark room | The last calm moment, make the most of it |
| 18.00 to 21.00 | Sling, walk, rock, shh. Swap adults every twenty minutes | Movement and closeness, with an adult who still has the energy |
| 21.00 | Whoever has the first night shift goes to bed | Sleep is the only thing that makes tomorrow better |
| 22.00 to 23.00 | The crying eases for most. Feed, put down on the back in their own cot | The evening is over, even if it does not feel like it |
Evening fussiness or colic?
| Evening fussiness | Colic | |
|---|---|---|
| When | Evenings, a few hours | More than three hours a day, more than three days a week, for more than three weeks |
| Age | 2 weeks to 4 months | The same |
| Cause | Immature nervous system | Unknown, often the same |
| Passes | Yes | Yes, usually at 3 to 4 months |
| What you do | As above | As above, plus talk to BVC (the child health clinic every family is enrolled in) |
Evening fussiness and feeding
Many babies want to breastfeed or take the bottle all evening, and there is nothing wrong with letting them: sucking soothes, and the evening is the time of day when babies often want to feed often. But tell the difference between sucking for comfort and feeding from hunger. A baby who has breastfed for ten minutes, let go, screamed, fed for three more minutes and screamed again is not hungry. Try the sling instead, and offer a feed again in half an hour. If you bottle-feed, keep the evening feeds a little smaller and closer together, so the tummy does not get too full in the middle of the crying.
How you hold out
Sleep in shifts. Whoever has the baby from 19.00 to 23.00 sleeps from 23.00 to 03.00. Eat before the fussiness starts. Accept help: a grandmother, a friend or a nanny who carries the baby one evening a week is not a failure, it is how this was meant to work.
For those who are home alone
If you are alone with the baby in the evenings, because the other parent works late or because you are a single parent, there is nobody to hand over to, and then a different rule applies: put the baby down on their back in the cot, leave the room, drink a glass of water and breathe for two minutes. The baby comes to no harm from crying for two minutes in a cot. You come to harm from holding a screaming baby for three hours without a break. Then call someone, just to talk while you walk with the sling. And tell BVC what the evenings look like, they can often help with more than advice.
Older siblings
A two-year-old with a screaming baby sister every evening between six and nine notices that all the adults are busy just when she is supposed to go to bed. Put the two-year-old to bed before the fussiness starts if you can, or let one of you have her entirely for an hour while the other has the baby. She does not need protecting from the crying, but she needs her own adult for a while.
When to seek care
Call 1177 (the national healthcare helpline) if the baby has a fever (over 38 degrees in a baby under three months is always a reason to seek care straight away), is vomiting heavily, refuses to feed, is listless, has blood in the stools, or if the crying sounds different from usual, shrill or weak. And call BVC if you feel you cannot cope. They have heard it before and they have help to offer.
How we do it with our families
Several of our nannies have experience with infants, and the most common baby assignment is exactly this: one evening a week between six and ten, where she carries and walks while the parents sleep or eat dinner in peace. Doaa has a family in Sundbyberg with a baby who was five weeks old when she started, Thursdays at six. The parents showed her how they usually did it: sling, blinds down, a lap around the block and then the stairs. Doaa did the same, and the parents slept from half past six until ten in the bedroom with the door closed. On the note she wrote when the baby had fed, how long she had cried and what had worked that particular evening. It is four hours, it qualifies for RUT (the Swedish tax deduction for household services, taken off the invoice directly), and it can be the difference between getting through these weeks and not.
This text is general information and does not replace advice from BVC (the child health clinic), your vårdcentral (local health centre) or 1177 (the national healthcare helpline). If you are worried about your child, call 1177. In an emergency, call 112.
Would you like a nanny who knows your child, knows how they usually are and notices when something is different? Book a free first meeting with the nanny in your home.
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Frequently asked questions
What is evening fussiness?
An otherwise healthy baby crying and being hard to soothe in the evening, often between five and eleven, from about two weeks of age until three or four months. The peak usually comes around six weeks. It is common, harmless and passes. The baby is not hungry, not wet and not ill, they are overloaded by a whole day of impressions and cannot switch off.
Is there a difference between evening fussiness and colic?
Colic is evening fussiness in larger quantities: crying for more than three hours a day, more than three days a week, for more than three weeks. The line is blurred and the advice is the same. Colic also passes, usually at three to four months. The difference for you is mainly that BVC (the child health clinic) should know about it, so they can follow the baby and you a little more closely.
Is it the tummy?
Sometimes, but usually not. Babies pull up their legs and look as if they have tummy ache when they cry whatever the cause, and they swallow air when they scream, which gives more wind. It is more about a nervous system that has taken in a whole day and cannot switch off. Changing formula or cutting out milk rarely helps, and you should only do that in consultation with BVC (the child health clinic).
When should we seek care?
If the baby has a fever, is vomiting heavily, does not want to feed, is listless or hard to wake, has unusual stools with blood, or if the crying sounds different from usual, shrill or weak. And if you yourselves cannot cope, that is also a reason to call BVC. A baby under three months with a temperature of 38 degrees or more is always a reason to call 1177 (the national healthcare helpline) straight away.
Does it help to let the baby cry?
No, not at this age. A six-week-old baby cannot calm itself, and being left crying makes them more stressed, not less. What you may do, however, is put the baby on their back in the cot and leave the room for a minute to breathe, if you feel you are about to lose it. Then you come back.