Calming music for children should be slow, even and predictable: lullabies, quiet piano, strings or nature sounds, at a tempo below the resting heart rate and at low volume. It works best as part of a routine, the same songs in the same order, and it should be switched off once the child is asleep. And the best instrument is still your own voice.
Every parent has stood in a dark room searching for something to put on. Here is what actually calms children, how to build a playlist that lasts for years, what suits which age, and the two things to avoid.
What calms, and why
| Quality | Why it works |
|---|---|
| Slow tempo, under 60 beats per minute | The pulse follows the music downwards |
| Even volume, no sudden changes | The brain stops listening out for surprises |
| A simple melody that repeats | Predictability is security for small children |
| Few instruments, soft tones | Piano, strings, acoustic guitar, harp |
| The same songs every evening | The music becomes a signal that it is time to sleep |
Five kinds of music that work
- Lullabies. Recorded or sung. We have Swedish lullabies if you want to sing them yourself.
- Calm classical music. Slow movements for piano or strings. Avoid pieces with big dynamic swings, they wake children up.
- Instrumental versions of children's songs. The child recognises the tune without wanting to sing along.
- Nature sounds. Rain, waves, wind in the trees. Steady, with no birdsong or thunder.
- White or pink noise. For babies who find it hard to wind down. Low volume, a timer, some distance from the cot.
By age
| Age | Works best | Works less well |
|---|---|---|
| 0 to 6 months | Your voice, humming, steady noise | Anything with lyrics the child is meant to listen to, anything above conversation volume |
| 6 months to 2 years | The same two or three lullabies every evening, nature sounds | New songs, music with a clear beat that invites dancing |
| 2 to 5 years | A short playlist in the same order, instrumental children's songs | Songs the child knows the words to, they sing along and wake up |
| 6 to 9 years | Calm piano music, an audiobook with a soothing voice, a playlist the child helped choose | Pop music at low volume, it isn't calm just because it is quiet |
| 10 to 12 years | Whatever the child finds calming, with a timer | Headphones in bed all night |
Build your own playlist
- Ten to fifteen songs, 30 to 40 minutes. Longer than that isn't needed.
- Start with something the child recognises, end with the calmest.
- The same order every time. Don't swap songs out after two weeks because you have grown tired of them.
- A 45-minute timer, so the music goes quiet after the child has dropped off.
- Download it, so it works when travelling and without a connection.
Test the list on yourselves one evening. If you fall asleep on the sofa to it, the tempo is right. If you start humming along, it is the wrong song. And don't put in anything you can't bear to hear four hundred times, because that is roughly what it will be.
Where the speaker should go
A little way from the bed, not in it. A small speaker on the chest of drawers or a shelf, with the phone screen off or the phone in another room. The volume should be so low that you can talk over it in a normal voice without raising it. Headphones don't work for children under ten at bedtime: they end up crooked, get tangled and stop the child hearing you when you come in. If two children share a room, the one who falls asleep first sets the tempo, which usually means the younger one's list wins.
Two things to avoid
The screen. Music from a tablet or phone with the screen lit does more harm than the music does good; the light keeps the child awake. Place the device face down or use a speaker. And the volume: calming music should be barely audible. If you can talk over it in a normal voice, it is about right.
Music in the bedtime routine
Music works best as one of the steps in a routine that is the same every evening: bath, pyjamas, book, music, lights out. Put it on once the book has been read, not when the child is already upset. It is a preventive calming measure, not a fire extinguisher. The whole routine, step by step with times, is in the guide to Bedtime routine for children.
Daytime naps, the car and when music doesn't help
The same list works for the daytime nap, and many förskolor (municipal preschools, from age one) already have one. Ask what they play, so you can have the same at home at the weekend. In the car, calming music is the easiest route to a sleeping two-year-old on the way home from Grandma's, but only if you can manage to stay quiet at the same time.
And sometimes music doesn't help at all. A child who is overhungry, has a fever, is afraid of the dark or has napped too long in the day will not fall asleep because a piano is playing. Then the music is just noise. Switch it off, find out what is wrong, and put it on again another evening. More on that in the guides to Children who are afraid of the dark and Sleep schedule for children by age.
How we do it with our families
Several of our nannies have their own playlist for the afternoon rest, and because it is the same nanny every week, it becomes the child's rest music. We have a two-year-old who lies down on the sofa by himself when the first song starts. It took three weeks. Esther would rather sing than play: Byssan lull and Trollmors vaggsång, in Swedish, the same two every time, and then one in English that the child chose. She dims the lamp before she starts, not after, and she stops singing when the breathing has changed, not when the child is fully asleep. On the note to the parents she writes when the child fell asleep and which song did the trick.
Would you like a nanny who comes on the same days every week and whom the children know? Book a free first meeting with the nanny in your home, and we will work out a quote for your hours.
Read more: Swedish lullabies · Bedtime stories for kids · Evening and overnight babysitting · FAQ
Frequently asked questions
What music is most calming for children?
Slow, even and without sudden changes: lullabies, calm piano music, strings, acoustic guitar, nature sounds like rain. A tempo below the resting heart rate, around 60 beats per minute, is what calms. The lyrics matter less than you think, it is the tempo and the volume the child responds to.
Does white noise help?
Many babies fall asleep more easily to a steady noise. Keep the volume low, below normal conversation level, and place the speaker some distance from the cot. Noise that is too loud for long periods can affect hearing, so use a timer and never put it in the cot or the pram next to the baby's head.
Should the music stay on all night?
No, preferably not. Play it while the child winds down and falls asleep, then switch it off or use a timer. Children who can only sleep with music wake when it stops, and children who wake in the night should ideally be able to fall back asleep without anything needing to be switched on.
Is it better to sing yourself?
Yes, almost always. Your voice is what calms your child most, and it works without a connection. Recorded music is a good complement when your voice isn't enough, for the daytime nap for instance, or when you are so tired yourselves that the singing sounds the way it does.
From what age does music at bedtime work?
From the first week, if it is your voice or something very quiet. Newborns respond to rhythm and to voices they heard during pregnancy. From about six months a playlist can become part of the routine, and from two the child recognises the songs and knows what is coming.