With shared custody, the same nanny can work in both homes, if both parents want that and the homes are a reasonable distance apart. The child then has one adult who stays the same every week, whichever home they sleep in. The RUT deduction (the Swedish tax deduction for household services, taken off the invoice directly) goes to the parent who pays for the sessions in their own home, and we invoice each household separately. What has to be shared is the routines, not the hours.
A six-year-old in Solna changes homes every Sunday. At dad's in Råsunda it is förskoleklass (the preschool year before school) and pick-up at four. At mum's in Huvudsta it is the same school, but mum works shifts and needs help in the evenings. Two homes, two calendars, two sets of rules. And one child who has to keep track of it all. What that family asked for was not two nannies. It was one.
Why one person, not two
Children who live in two homes already have two of most things: two beds, two toothbrushes, two ways of eating breakfast. Most of them are fine with that. But every new adult who comes in is one more person to read, trust and learn. A nanny who follows the child between homes becomes a fixed point that does not depend on which week it is. She knows how the child was on Tuesday at dad's when she picks up on Thursday at mum's. That is no small thing for a child who otherwise has to tell everything twice.
What it takes from you as parents
- That you both want it. The nanny cannot move between homes if only one parent has hired her. Both of you need an agreement with us and both of you need to be at the first meeting, in your respective homes.
- A reasonable distance. Two homes in the same municipality or in neighbouring parts of Stockholm are fine. One home in Vallentuna and one in Tumba makes it hard to find a nanny who can do both.
- One calendar. The nanny needs to know which week the child is where, and who does the pick-up on changeover days. The most common cause of trouble is a changeover day being moved without the nanny being told.
- Shared rules for what concerns the child. Bedtime, screen time, sweets. Not identical in everything, but the nanny should not be the one caught in the middle of a difference.
- A note for each home. Phone numbers, where things are, door codes, house rules, for both homes. See The note for the babysitter.
How RUT and the invoice work
The RUT deduction is personal. The parent who pays for childcare in their own home gets 50 per cent of the labour cost as a tax reduction, up to 75,000 kr per person per year. Two households means two allowances, but only for the work done in each respective home. We invoice each parent separately for the sessions that took place in that parent's home, with the deduction already taken off. So you do not need to split an invoice or work anything out yourselves. If you want the full rules, read RUT deduction for nannies and babysitters.
| Question | How we handle it |
|---|---|
| Who pays? | Each parent pays for sessions in their own home |
| Who gets RUT? | Whoever pays, for work in their own home |
| Different numbers of hours? | That is fine, each parent has their own arrangement and their own rate based on the number of hours |
| Changeover day, the child is picked up at one parent's and dropped off at the other's | Agreed in advance; how the session is invoiced is something we go through at the first meeting |
| One parent wants to stop | The other can carry on with the same nanny in their home |
What needs to be the same, and what does not
The nanny should not become a weapon in a conflict, and she should not have to take sides if the rules differ. So we ask you to agree on what concerns the child directly: a rough bedtime, whether there are screens on weekdays, what applies to sweets and whether the child is allowed out alone. Everything else can happily be different. Dad might want the nanny to cook dinner, mum might want them to eat when she gets home. One home might need pick-ups, the other only evenings.
- Should be the same: bedtime, screen rules, sweets, what the nanny is allowed to say yes to.
- Can be different: hours, number of sessions, whether the nanny cooks, what they do in the afternoon.
- The nanny does not: pass messages between the parents, take sides, or talk about one home in the other. Practical information about the child, yes. Anything else, no.
How we get started
The nanny meets you free of charge in each home, with the parent who lives there. The child is present at at least one of the meetings. Then we match a nanny who can do both sets of hours and both addresses. The first session takes place with a parent at home, in the home where the child is that week. After that she follows the calendar. A new recruitment normally takes one to two weeks, sometimes longer when we need someone who fits two schedules. If you are unsure whether you want a nanny regularly or just now and then, Regular nanny or occasional babysitting will help you choose.
How it works with our families
Since the autumn, Sanna has had a seven-year-old boy who lives alternate weeks in Bromma and Abrahamsberg, a few bus stops apart. At mum's she picks up on Mondays and Wednesdays at four. At dad's on Thursdays and Fridays, because he works long days at the end of the week. She has a shared calendar document that both parents fill in, and a note on each fridge. What she noticed after a month was that the boy stopped asking her which week it was. He knew that Sanna knew. On the note to mum she writes nothing about how things are at dad's, and vice versa. But when he had a stomach ache three Thursdays in a row she told both of them, because that was about him.
Would you like a nanny who comes on the same days every week and whom the children know? Book a free first meeting with the nanny in your home, and we will work out a price for your hours.
Read more: Divorce with children · Regular nanny or occasional babysitting · RUT deduction for nannies and babysitters · Prices
Frequently asked questions
Can the same nanny work in both homes?
Yes, if both parents want that. The nanny gets to know the child once and follows them between the homes. It requires both of you to be on board, and both homes to be a reasonable distance apart. We have families where the nanny is the only adult who is the same in both weeks.
How does the RUT deduction work when we are two households?
Each parent gets the deduction for the work done in their own home and paid for by that parent. RUT gives 50 per cent of the labour cost, with a ceiling of 75,000 kr per person per year. We invoice each parent separately for the sessions that take place in that parent's home.
Do we have to have the same set-up in both homes?
No. One parent may need a nanny three afternoons a week, the other only one evening. What should be the same is what concerns the child: routines, rules and the fact that it is the same person. The hours are adapted to each parent's job and everyday life.
What do we do if we do not agree about having a nanny?
Then the parent who wants help has a nanny during their time, in their home. That does not require the other parent's approval. What does require coordination is the same nanny moving between the homes, because then both of you have to want her and both of you need an agreement with us.
Can the nanny pick up from the other parent's home?
Yes, if you both agree and you tell us in advance. It often comes up on changeover days, when the child goes from one parent's home to förskola (municipal preschool) and then on to the other's. The nanny needs to know which home she is dropping the child at each day, so a clear calendar is a must.