Mors dag (Mother's Day in Sweden) is the last Sunday in May, and the best presents are the ones a child makes alone with as little help as possible: a handprint card from age two, a picked flower in a glass from three, breakfast in bed from six, and a coupon book or a letter in their own words from eight. Ten ideas below, sorted by what the child can manage, and prepared on the Saturday so that Sunday belongs to the child.
It is Saturday afternoon at the end of May in a flat in Hägersten, and dad has just realised it is Mother's Day tomorrow. The children are three and seven. There is paper, paint, flour and a couple of hours. That is enough. Mother's Day is not a day for bought presents, and there is no mother who would rather have something from a shop when she can have a card with a purple chicken that is meant to be her. Here are ten things the children make themselves, with an adult as assistant.
Who can manage what
| Age | Does alone | Needs help with | Takes |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 to 3 years | Handprint, picking a flower, carrying one thing | Everything else | 10 minutes |
| 3 to 5 years | Painting a card, mixing dough, arranging breakfast on a tray | Writing, cutting, the oven | 30 minutes |
| 6 to 8 years | Writing a card, baking from a recipe, laying out breakfast | Oven and hob, spelling if they want it | 1 hour |
| 9 to 12 years | Everything, including breakfast from scratch | Remembering to do it | 1 to 2 hours |
Ten things children make themselves
- Handprint card. From age one. Paint on the hand, press onto folded paper, the adult writes the date and what the child says. It is the card that gets kept the longest.
- A flower in a glass. From age two. A dandelion, a tulip, a sprig of lilac from the courtyard. The child picks it and puts it in a drinking glass on the breakfast tray. Do not pick from flower beds or in nature reserves.
- Breakfast in bed. From three with help, from six almost alone, from nine entirely alone. Toast, yoghurt with berries, a cup of tea. The child carries the tray, the adult holds the door. Spills count as decoration.
- A painted portrait. From age three. The child paints mum. It comes out with a big mouth and three fingers, and it hangs on the fridge for a year. Write the date on the back.
- Coupon book. From age five. Five slips of paper with things the child promises: a hug, a shoulder massage, doing the dishes one evening, choosing a film for mum, a lie-in on Sunday. Stapled together. And they actually get redeemed.
- Something baked. From four with help. Scones, chocolate balls (chokladbollar) or a simple sponge cake. The dough is made on Saturday and baked on Sunday morning. Recipes that survive children's hands are in Baking with kids.
- A painted pot with a plant. From age four. A terracotta pot is painted on Saturday, dries overnight, and on Sunday a herb plant or a seed is planted in it. It sits in the kitchen window all summer.
- A letter. From age seven. Three things the child likes about mum, written in the child's own spelling. Do not correct it. The spelling is what makes the letter.
- A homemade book. From age six. Four sheets of paper folded and stapled down the middle, one picture and one sentence per page about something the child and mum have done together. Read aloud at the bedside.
- An hour to herself. From age eight. The child writes a note: Mum gets to be left in peace for an hour and I will look after my little sister. This is the present that is appreciated most, and it is the one that needs dad or the nanny in the background.
How to prepare on the Saturday
Everything that needs adult help is done the day before. The paper is folded, the paint is poured into cups, the dough is made and put in the fridge, the pot is painted so it can dry. On Sunday morning the child should be able to do what is left alone: press the hand, arrange the breakfast, carry the tray. If dad is the one preparing, his role on Sunday is assistant: holding the door, pouring the coffee, holding the youngest while the older one carries. Tell the children on Saturday that tomorrow mum is the one in the spotlight, and that they get to do everything themselves. That gives a seven-year-old a week's worth of pride.
What does not work
- Breakfast at six o'clock. The children wake early and want to get started. Mum wants to sleep. Say the evening before: we make breakfast when the clock says eight, and set a clock the child can read.
- Too many things. A card and a breakfast is a Mother's Day. Five crafts is a stressed child and a mother who has to be grateful five times before nine.
- Bought presents the child did not choose. A bottle of perfume from dad via the child is dad's present. If the child wants to buy something, go to the shop together and let the child choose with their own pocket money.
- Doing it at förskola for everyone. Many preschools in Stockholm have stopped doing Mother's Day crafts because families look different, and that is sensible. Do it at home, for whoever is the right person in your family.
Mother's Day when the family does not look like the adverts
Children with two dads, children whose mum is not there, children who live in two homes and are at dad's that weekend. Mother's Day can be made for any person the child loves: mormor or farmor (a grandmother), an aunt, a stepmother, a friend's mum. Or skip it. A child who is missing someone that day does not need a craft, they need someone to say it is okay to be sad and that you can do something else together. And if the child lives in two homes and is at dad's: a drawing and a phone call at nine o'clock is more than enough. More on how the nanny handles two homes is in A nanny with shared custody.
How we do it with our families
Denise was with a family in Enskede on the Friday before Mother's Day last year, with a four-year-old and a six-year-old, and the father had asked her to prepare so that he would not have to. Between three and five the six-year-old painted a terracotta pot and the four-year-old made a handprint card, and Denise made a scone dough that the children stirred and that went into the fridge. On the note she wrote: the pot is drying on the balcony, the dough is in the fridge in the red bowl, 225 degrees for twelve minutes, the card is in the six-year-old's drawer so mum does not see it. She also wrote that the four-year-old wanted to give the flower from the courtyard herself, so nobody else should pick it.
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Read more: Father's Day crafts · Crafts for kids · Baking with kids · Frequently asked questions
Frequently asked questions
When is Mother's Day in Sweden?
The last Sunday in May, every year. That differs from many other countries, so dates from foreign websites will not be right. Preschools in Stockholm sometimes do something the week before, but many have stopped because families look different.
What can a child under three make for Mother's Day?
A handprint on a card, a flower picked in the park or the courtyard, and helping to carry in the breakfast tray. The other parent or the nanny does the rest, and that is how it should be.
What if the child has only one parent, or two dads?
Make the day about someone else: a grandmother, an aunt, a friend's mum who means a lot. Or skip it. Mother's Day is no obligation, and a child who feels they are missing someone that day does not need a craft, they need a conversation.
Do you need to buy a present?
No. What is appreciated most is what the child has made themselves: a card, a breakfast, a flower in a glass. Presents that cost money are usually not something the child has chosen, and it shows.
How does a dad help the children without it becoming his day?
He prepares on Saturday so the children can do everything themselves on Sunday. The dough is made, the card is folded, the tray is out. Then he is the assistant, not the main character. And he remembers that mum would much rather sleep an extra hour than get breakfast at six.