Most children are dry in the daytime between two and three, and what decides it is not the age but the signs: a dry nappy for a couple of hours, interest in the toilet, the child noticing when they wee. There are two routes: the intensive one, three days at home without a nappy, and the slow one, with the potty as part of the routine over a few weeks. Both work, for different children and different families. Nights you tackle separately, later.
Few things in the toddler years come with as much pressure as the nappy: förskola (municipal preschool) is wondering, grandma has opinions, a friend's child was dry at two. The truth is that almost all children are out of nappies between two and four, that you can speed it up a little, and that you can ruin a lot by pushing. Here is how to do it calmly.
Signs your child is ready
- The nappy stays dry for two hours or more, or through a nap
- The child tells you when they have weed or pooed, or hides when they poo
- The child is interested in the toilet and wants to watch when you go
- The child can pull their trousers down and up more or less by themselves
- The child can follow a simple two-step instruction
- The child dislikes the wet nappy and wants it changed
Three or four signs are enough. If there are none, wait a month and look again. It is not laziness, it is maturity, and it cannot be trained into them.
The kit
- A potty that stands firmly and is easy to empty. Put it where you are, not in the bathroom, for the first few days.
- A child's toilet seat and a step stool for the child who would rather sit on the real toilet. The stool matters: a child with dangling legs cannot relax.
- Eight to ten pairs of trousers, soft and easy to pull down alone. No buttons, no braces, no tight jeans.
- A bag with a change of clothes in your bag, in the pram and at förskola. Wet clothes in a separate plastic bag.
- Training pants are not needed. They feel like a nappy to the child and delay the whole thing.
The three-day method
- Choose a weekend plus one day when you can be at home the whole time, with no visitors and no errands.
- Nappy off on the morning of day one, and it does not come back in the daytime. The child is bare-bottomed or in just trousers, no training pants.
- The potty in the room where you are. Offer it every half hour, without nagging: do you want to try the potty? Plenty to drink so there are lots of chances.
- Accidents are cleaned up calmly. No comment, no sigh. Next time on the potty.
- Praise when it lands in the right place, short and cheerful. No reward systems with sweets; they work for a week and then the child wants sweets for everything.
- Days two and three the same, with a short walk on day three with the potty in the bag.
- Day four to förskola without a nappy, with three changes of clothes in the bag and the staff informed.
The gentler alternative
A potty in the bathroom from around the age of two. The child sits on it at nappy changes and before the bath, with clothes on if they want. After a few weeks, no trousers in the evenings at home. When it lands in the right place more often than not, try a day without a nappy. It takes one or two months instead of three days, but it needs no time off and there are rarely setbacks.
The words and the routines: the same for everyone
The child learns faster if all the adults say the same thing. Decide which words you use, wee and poo are enough, and how you ask: "do you want to try the potty?" rather than "do you need a wee?", which a two-year-old almost always answers no to. Decide too when you offer, without waiting for the child to say so: after waking, before and after meals, before going out, before the bath and before bed. Write it on a note in the hallway, so that grandma, the nanny and förskola all see the same thing. And avoid asking all the time. A child who hears "do you need a wee?" twenty times a day stops listening.
The first weeks out, in the car and at förskola
- Out: go on the potty just before you leave, take the potty in the pram for the first two weeks, and keep outings short. A playground with a toilet nearby beats the forest right now.
- In the car: a towel on the car seat, a change of clothes in the door pocket, and a stop every hour on longer journeys. Children who are new to the potty say so when there are three seconds to go.
- At förskola: tell them how you do it and which words you use. Ask whether the toilet is easy to reach and whether there is a step stool. Expect more accidents there than at home in the first week; the play is too much fun to interrupt.
- At grandma's: the same note as in the hallway. A weekend in nappies at grandma's because it is easier can cost a week of progress.
What to expect, week by week
| Time | What it usually looks like | What you do |
|---|---|---|
| Days 1 to 3 | Lots of accidents, a few hits, a child who is fascinated by the potty | Offer every half hour, clean up calmly, stay at home |
| Week 1 | Lands in the right place more often than not at home, more accidents out and at förskola | Keep offering at set times, changes of clothes everywhere |
| Weeks 2 to 4 | The child starts saying so themselves, sometimes too late. Poo is often last | A nappy for poo if the child wants one, no pressure |
| Months 2 to 3 | Dry in the daytime most days, the odd accident during play and illness | Stop asking, trust the child, keep the night nappy |
| Later | Setbacks with a new sibling, a move, a change of förskola | Expect it, do not comment, carry on as usual |
Nights
Night dryness is controlled by a hormone that reduces urine production at night, and by how deeply the child sleeps. It cannot be trained. Keep the night nappy until it has been dry in the morning for two or three weeks in a row, then try without, and have a mattress protector. Many children are five or six before nights are dry, and that is normal.
Setbacks
| What has happened | What you do |
|---|---|
| A new sibling, a move, a new förskola | Expect setbacks for a few weeks. No comment, change the clothes, carry on. |
| The child refuses to poo on the potty | Nappy on for poo, ideally sitting on the toilet. Do not push; constipation makes everything worse. |
| Lots of accidents at förskola but not at home | Talk to the staff about the routines. Often it is the toilet that is scary or the play that is too much fun. |
| Nothing is working after a week | Nappy back on without drama. Try again in a month. |
| The child wees in small dribbles often and complains that it stings | Call BVC (the child health clinic every family is enrolled in) or your vårdcentral (local health centre); it may be a urinary tract infection rather than a setback. |
How it works with our families
The most common mistake we see is the nappy coming off a week before the nanny or förskola knows about it. Tell everyone who looks after your child on the same day, say how you do it and which words you use. A family in Täby did the three-day method one weekend in March and texted Sanna on the Sunday evening: no nappy in the daytime, the potty is in the living room, we say "do you want to try the potty" after meals and before going out, nappy for poo if he asks. On the Tuesday Sanna did exactly that, with the potty in the living room and a stop at the toilet before they went to the playground, and wrote on the note: three times on the potty, one accident in the sandpit, change of clothes used. It is that consistency, the same words and the same routine from every adult, that makes it stick.
This text is general information and does not replace advice from BVC, your vårdcentral or 1177 (the national healthcare helpline). If you are worried about your child, call 1177. In an emergency, call 112.
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Read more: Toddler tantrums · Constipation in children · Settling in at förskola · FAQ
Frequently asked questions
When are children ready to come out of nappies?
Usually between two and three, but the spread is wide and completely normal. The signs matter more than the age: a dry nappy for a couple of hours, interest in the toilet, the child telling you or hiding when they poo, and being able to pull their trousers down by themselves. Three or four signs are enough. If there are none, wait a month and look again.
Does the three-day method work?
For some children, if they are ready and you can be at home the whole time. For others not at all, and then it is the child who was not ready, not the method that failed. Wait a month and try again. The gentler alternative with the potty as part of the routine over a few weeks works just as well, it only takes longer and needs no free weekend.
What do you do about nights?
Separately, and later. Many children are dry in the daytime long before they are dry at night, and night dryness is a matter of maturity that cannot be trained. A nappy at night until it is dry in the morning two or three weeks in a row, then a try without, with a mattress protector and a spare sheet ready. Many children are five or six before nights are dry.
What do you do if the child refuses to poo on the potty?
It is common and it passes. Let the child poo in a nappy, ideally on the toilet with the nappy on, and then take one step at a time: nappy looser, nappy in the potty, no nappy. Never push; it can lead to constipation, which makes everything harder, and keep the food soft with fruit, vegetables and plenty to drink in the meantime.
Should we tell förskola when we start?
Yes, on the same day, and ideally before. Förskola has seen hundreds of children come out of nappies and will do it every day with your words and your routine if they know them. Tell them how often you offer the potty, which words you use and whether the child wants a nappy for poo. Send three changes of clothes and a bag for wet ones. Tell the nanny and grandma too.