The utvecklingssamtal (the parent-teacher meeting about your child's development) at school is held at least once a term, takes around twenty to thirty minutes and covers three things: where your child stands in each subject, how they are doing socially and how they are feeling. The best questions are concrete: not whether things are going well, but what the teacher has seen, when and how often. Prepare two or three questions at home and ask for a follow-up meeting if something worries you.
Tuesday at three, a classroom in Farsta. You have taken an hour off work, your child sits between you swinging their legs, the teacher has a folder and twenty minutes before the next family. It tends to be a calm run-through of what is going well, and you leave without quite knowing whether you got answers to what you wondered about. It can be done better. This is how to get something out of the meeting, and what to do if it is not enough.
What the meeting should cover
The Swedish Education Act says that the teacher must hold an utvecklingssamtal with the pupil and the guardians at least once a term, about how the child's learning and social development can best be supported. In the years without grades, up to and including year five, the teacher writes an individual development plan, an IUP, with an assessment in each subject and what should happen next. From year six there are grades every term, and the meeting is then more about what lies behind them. In förskoleklass (the preschool year at school, at age six) the meeting is less formal, but the child is already present.
Many schools send home some material a week in advance: the teacher's assessments, sometimes a questionnaire the child has filled in. Read it. The meeting is twice as useful if you already know what the teacher has written and can ask about it.
Questions that get real answers
The question that yields the least is the most common one: how is it going? The answer is always fine. Instead, ask about something the teacher has seen.
| Area | Question that tends to get a good answer |
|---|---|
| Learning | Where is my child in reading and maths compared with what is expected now, and what is the next step? |
| Work in the classroom | Does my child get started on their own or do they need an adult beside them? |
| Concentration | How long can my child stay with a task before losing focus? |
| Friends | Who does my child play with at break, and is it the same children every day? |
| Wellbeing | Are there moments in the day when my child seems uncomfortable? The dining hall, changing rooms, breaks? |
| Conflicts | Has my child been involved in any fights, and how were they resolved? |
| Support | Is there anything you see that you think we should be doing at home? |
The question about breaks is the most important of all. Teachers see the classroom, but breaks are where children struggle, and a teacher who cannot say who your child plays with has not looked. That is an answer in itself.
Prepare your child
- Explain what will happen: we sit down with your teacher, she tells us how things are going, you get asked some questions.
- Ask at home first: what is most fun at school, what is hardest, who do you play with, is anyone mean? Then you know what your child is going to say, and what they are not going to say.
- Let your child bring a question of their own, even if it is about when the next school trip is.
- Do not say everything in front of your child. Worries about friends or about the teacher are for before or after the meeting, without the child.
How to make the meeting useful
- Start with your picture. Say briefly how you feel your child is doing at home and what they say about school. It gives the teacher something to respond to.
- Ask your three questions and write down the answers. It is easy to get home and not remember what was said about maths.
- Ask for specifics. If the teacher says your child struggles to focus: ask when, how often, in which subjects, and what she does about it.
- Agree on one thing. Not seven. One thing the school does and one thing you do at home, and a date when you will speak again.
- Ask your child afterwards what they thought of the meeting. Children often say more on the way home than in the room.
If something worries you
It is easy to be polite in a room with a teacher who seems stressed. Do not be. If the teacher says your child is not reaching the goals in a subject: ask what support the school is giving, from when, and who is responsible. The school is obliged to investigate and put support in place when a child is at risk of not reaching the goals, and that requires no diagnosis. If you suspect your child is being left out or badly treated: say so plainly and ask for a meeting within two weeks with the head teacher or the student health team present. The school is obliged to act on suspected bullying or harassment the same day it finds out.
And if the meeting was all very nice and you still have a feeling that something is not right: trust it. Ask for another meeting in a month, without your child. That is not being difficult, that is being a parent.
Homework and what you do at home
The single most common agreement to come out of utvecklingssamtal in the early school years is reading: ten to fifteen minutes every day. It is also the one that most often fizzles out by November. If you cannot make it happen in the evenings, move it to the afternoon instead, with whoever does pick-up. How to do homework without arguments is covered in Homework help at home, and what a A nanny with homework help in a guide of its own.
How we do it with our families
After the autumn utvecklingssamtal, one of our families in Täby learned that their eight-year-old needed to read aloud every day, and that it never got done in the evenings. Since then Esther has read with him at four o'clock every Monday, Wednesday and Thursday, fifteen minutes at the kitchen table before he goes out, in the book the school sent home. She writes on the note which pages they read and which word was hard, so that the parents can pick up the same book at the weekend and the teacher finds out at the next meeting. It is not sophisticated. It is the same person, the same time and the same book, three times a week.
Would you like a nanny who comes the same days every week and whom the children know? Book a free first meeting with the nanny in your own home, and we will work out a quote for your hours.
Read more: Parent-teacher meetings at förskola · Homework help at home · A nanny with homework help · FAQ
Frequently asked questions
How often are parent-teacher meetings held at school?
At least once a term under the Education Act, usually in October to November and March to April. The meeting normally takes twenty to thirty minutes and is held by the class teacher or mentor. You can always ask for an extra meeting if something worries you.
Should the child be there?
Yes, from förskoleklass the child attends, and in many schools the child leads the meeting from the middle years (years four to six). Prepare your child for being asked what is going well and what is hard. If you want to say something without your child, ask for five minutes before or after.
What is an IUP?
An individual development plan (individuell utvecklingsplan), written in the years without grades, that is, up to and including year five. It contains assessments of where your child stands in each subject and what the school and you should do next. From year six it is replaced by grades every term.
What do we do if the teacher says our child is struggling?
Ask what the teacher has actually seen, for how long, and what the school intends to do. The school is obliged to investigate whether a child is at risk of not reaching the goals and to provide support, without you needing a diagnosis. Ask for a follow-up meeting within a few weeks.